On walls, ramps and ditches

There were few places where it was more than 3-4 feet high, and for much of the 70 miles we walked, there was nothing remaining to be seen. Nevertheless, walking the length of Hadrian’s wall from Newcastle to Carlisle was an incredible experience, and for those Roman legions, slaves and paid labourers, 1900 years ago, building the wall was an incredible achievement.

The wall itself, 8-10 feet wide by 10-20 feet high, is just one part of the overall complex of defence and communication. The full structure consisted of a ditch, the wall, a military road, and the vallum – a ditch flanked by two large mounds. In many places it is the vallum that is the most prominent surviving feature. Along the length of the wall were milecastles and turrets and several forts and towns adjoining the wall. The surviving parts are impressive in their scale, the engineering involved, and a lingering beauty that blends with the wild open moors and crags of the Pennines, stretching away to North and South.

There is a sense of enduring history in the neatly aligned stones of the wall, and the once-ordered barracks, baths and storehouses of the forts we visited along the way. And that sense was carried forward in the glimpses into the way of life of these Roman soldiers and the citizens of Britannia. It was also carried forward in the snippets of Victorian industrial, archaeological, imperial and philanthropic history that we encountered walking through Newcastle and at other points along the way.

 

 

 

 

 

There was also a sense of timelessness in the wide blue skies, the stretching vistas, peat bogs and ancient woodlands that we wandered through along the way. And for us, stepping away from our ordinary lives, the activities of Breathing Space and my academic pursuits, we were able to put it all aside and simply enjoy being in the moment, shouldering our packs, and tramping each day’s miles.

(Not that it was all pure bliss, though. There were times when our shoulders ached from the weight of our packs, our feet were weary and confined in our boots; times when the path just seemed to stretch on and on with no prospect of a rest, or when we longed for a cool, refreshing drink or an indulgent, frothy coffee.)

 

Meanwhile, back at Breathing Space, time had not stood still. Our faithful team of builders, Mick, Ryan and Jack were beavering away at the next stage of our alterations. Over the previous weeks they had built their own walls. On a very different scale, but still impressive in the beauty of their craftsmanship. Far from being a statement of imperial pride (‘I’m going to build a wall…’), and a defence against unwanted intruders, the walls our team have built at Breathing Space are the retaining walls for our wonderful new access ramp – there to welcome people; walls that lead people in to this place of peace and beauty.

The ramp itself is now finished and already has made a huge difference to the ease of access. And work has now started on the next stage – to create two new flexible-use rooms in the loft and a new, open entrance hall.

 

 

 

 

 

We have been so blessed, through all this, by the generosity of so many people. To date we have received over £11,000 of the £16,000 we need in sponsorship, donations and pledges from individuals and churches. We have also been really blessed by some unexpected little gifts – a ‘jar of smiles’, a pot of flowers, several little notes and messages encouraging us in what we are seeking to provide through Breathing Space. Thank you so much to all of you who have contributed. If you would still like to contribute in any way, please click on the ‘donate’ button below, or get in touch with us at breathingspacecoventry@gmail.com

 

With the ongoing building work use of Breathing Space is limited at the moment, but we hope to be up and running again in September, with greater opportunities, particularly for those who might otherwise find it difficult to find spaces of peace and beauty in their lives – keep an eye on the Breathing Space website for details.

In the footsteps of Hadrian

I’m not sure what Hadrian would have made of us setting off to walk his wall just for the sheer joy of doing so; nor even in order to raise money for Breathing Space – a place dedicated to peace and stillness. While he was generally considered to be one of Rome’s more benevolent dictators, he nevertheless (at least according to Wikipedia) had ‘a capacity for both great personal generosity and extreme cruelty’ and (perhaps not unlike other leaders with imperialist ambitions) had a penchant for building walls.

Still, as Lois pointed out to me this morning, he probably never walked his own wall, and he is not here to either condone or condemn our endeavour.

The summer solstice has come and gone; the dreadful British weather seems to have taken a turn for the better; my two big projects (the Triennial Review of Serious Case Reviews and designing a child death review programme for Jordan) are both complete; work is progressing on our the access ramp and alterations to Breathing Space; and we have both cleared our diaries for the next week.

So, fortified with a breakfast of strawberries and raspberries from our garden, we set off for Newcastle. Tomorrow we will start our 70 mile hike across the country to Carlisle.

We are really grateful to all those who have donated or pledged to sponsor us for our fundraising for Breathing Space. So far, we have raised over £5,500 towards the cost of the alterations. Once the work is complete, it should allow us to be much more accessible to all who are seeking a place of beauty and stillness, and overall we should have far more flexibility in how we can use Breathing Space to serve others.

If you would like to contribute towards this project, please click on the button below.

Reflections on retirement 4

A few things I’m really looking forward to:

 

8 days’ silent retreat at Mirfield

8 weeks’ holiday in Laos and New Zealand

Being able to ‘work’ from home in our lovely annexe, looking out on the Breathing Space garden

Getting more involved in Breathing Space – retreats and quiet days, spiritual direction…

Regular mid-morning coffee, toast and marmalade with Lois

Getting stuck into some exciting new projects

No more mandatory training on manual handling, infection control and preventing deep vein thrombosis

Designing a national child death review system for Jordan

Starting a PhD

Gardening, DIY, walks in the countryside

No more appraisals

Finishing my book on Rembrandt’s Bathsheba

Painting

Just enjoying the peace and beauty of Breathing Space…

 

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Reflections on retirement 1

A new stage in life

So, it is finally happening. In three months’ time I will be retiring. So I thought it would be a good opportunity to reflect on what this is like; what it means for me; my experiences of 31 years in the NHS, 21 years as a consultant paediatrician and 13 years in academia; and on what lies ahead for this next stage of my life.

Pausing to contemplate this recently, it felt to me that this wasn’t so much retiring from work as moving on to a new stage in life, developing further my unique sense of calling or vocation, and embracing new opportunities, freed from some of the constraints of paid employment.

I do feel privileged to have been able to pursue a career in paediatrics and more recently academic child health, and to have worked in what remains one of the best health institutions in the world. It has been a great blessing to have built up expertise in a field I enjoy and feel passionately about, and to be able to use some of that expertise for children and families. And now it feels even more of a privilege and blessing to be able to retire from paid employment and develop further in these and other areas.

 

What am I on the planet for?

One of Lois’ favourite questions as a spiritual director is ‘what are you uniquely here on the planet for?’ As I reflected on this recently at a Retreat Association conference in Derbyshire, it seemed to me that the answer to this revolved around two core motivations which are working out in three key areas of my life.

Belovedness

The first core motivation revolves around a deepening sense of my own belovedness: recognising myself as a beloved child of God, unique, valued, and (in spite of my weaknesses and imperfections) with much to contribute, much to enjoy and much to learn; and from that, longing that others, too, might know something of that same belovedness and worth.

 

Hope

The second core motivation is one of hope: a longing for a world in which there is no more death or crying or mourning; where there is no more violence and abuse.

 

working out my vocation

So how do these two motivations work out in the different dimensions of my life?

 

Safeguarding children

  • A search to better understand abuse and neglect and how we as a society can better protect children and support families
  • Using my experience and knowledge to support others in the challenging work of child protection
  • Continuing to work that out through my ongoing research into child abuse; continuing my involvement with BASPCAN and Child Abuse Review; offering my expertise to the new National Safeguarding Practice Review Panel; and as a new opportunity, exploring the possibility of a PhD in theology, focused on a deeper understanding of abuse and neglect

 

Preventing child deaths

  • Seeking to better understand the circumstances and systems that lead to children’s deaths, to learn from them, and to work to prevent future children’s deaths
  • Supporting professionals and strengthening systems for child death review
  • Supporting families who are coping with the death of a child
  • Working this out with my ongoing input to the Lullaby Trust and SUDC-UK, and continued engagement with others in this country and overseas who are involved in child death review; and in a new opportunity, working with UNICEF and the National Council for Family Affairs in Jordan to develop a child death review system for their country

 

Creating breathing space

  • With Lois, to develop Breathing Space as a safe, sacred space where any who come can experience peace and beauty, and know something of their own belovedness
  • Sharing something of the blessings with which we ourselves are blessed
  • Seeking to live sustainably with respect and care for creation, and a commitment to justice and peace
  • Working this out through our home, retreat house and garden; our involvement in spiritual direction; running retreats and quiet days; being able to study and write, to be creative, and to enjoy the goodness and joy of our families and friends

 

Quite how all this will pan out remains to be seen, but at this stage, with the prospects of a more relaxed pace of life, and new opportunities opening up to me, it feels good. Roll on October!

 

Charlie Brown someday we will all die

Spring comes to Breathing Space

After what seems like a long drawn-out winter, the sun has finally appeared in all its glory, warming the earth, and lifting our spirits.

In our breathing space garden, life is, quite literally, bursting forth: the daffodils and tulips are competing to see who can provide the most vibrant display; buds are opening up on all the fruit trees; the blackbirds, robin, wren and tits are frantically flittering back and forth, gathering up twigs, leaves and moss for their nests; the goldfish are gambolling in the pond, and even Sir Isaac – our resident newt – is enjoying basking with his family in the afternoon sun.

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What a privilege it is to be here, to be able to appreciate all this beauty and life, and to be able to share it with others: individuals and small groups taking advantage of this little breathing space in the midst of our so often frantic, complex lives and work.

 

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“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11: 28-30 (The Message)

And another chapter begins

When Lois and I married – nearly four years ago – we both felt quite strongly that we had been brought together for something more than just our own joy. We have been so wonderfully blessed over these four years: with companionship, fun, the love of both our families; with friends; with a home and all its comforts; with good health and with opportunities to encounter beauty, goodness and wonder.

chapel 1

And, along with all this, a developing dream: a dream of something we could build together; of a place of beauty, stillness and peace in the midst of all the busy-ness of life; a safe, sacred space where we, together with others in community, could offer hospitality of heart and hearth to anyone who might be looking for a little breathing space.

And now we are here – at Breathing Space, on the outskirts of Coventry; a little haven of stillness. A place that we are making our home, as we unpack boxes and shuffle furniture around. A place where others can come and share the beauty, retreat from the pressures of everyday life, and, perhaps, encounter something of the Divine.

Garden 1

As I gaze out at the garden, with its profusion of shape and colour, even at this time in the grey damp of December, let alone with the sharp, frosty, sun-lit mornings we had when we first arrived, I am filled with gratitude and wonder. Watching the birds flit around the garden, or rise to the tops of the trees, my spirit, too, soars and I feel blessed.

This vibrant jostle, stem by stem

 

What a gathering – the purple

tongues of iris licking out

at spikes of lupine, the orange

crepe skirts of poppies lifting

buttercup and daisy.

Who can be grim

in the face of such abundance?

There is nothing to compare,

no need for beauty to compete.

The voluptuous rhododendron

and the plan grass

are equally filled with themselves,

equally declare the miracles

of color and form.

This is what community looks like

this vibrant jostle, stem by stem

declaring the marvelous joining.

This is the face of communion,

the incarnation once more

gracefully resurrected from winter.

Hold these things together

in your sight – purple, crimson,

magenta, blue. You will

be feasting on this long after

the flowers are gone.

 

  • Lynn Ungar, in The Artist’s Rule by Christine Valters Paintner