It is really great to be celebrating Esther and Rob’s wedding. It’s great also to know that, while this is a very special day in itself, it is also the start of something very new and special – a lifelong journey of relationship and commitment between Esther and Rob.
So here are a few tips for you, Rob, to help you as you get to know Esther, and some little gifts to get you started on your life together.
1. Esther is organised
Esther, like her mother, is very organised. This showed itself right from the moment of her birth. Helen recorded the following in her journal just after Esther was born:
‘[5 days before Esther’s birth] I started wondering when she would be born… She either had to be born before Saturday afternoon or after Sunday morning due to us hosting the youth group on Saturday evening and Pete leading the family service Sunday morning!’
As it was she was born on Monday morning.
That ability to be organised is something she definitely inherited from her mother, and has stuck with her ever since.
I know Esther has been very organised and efficient in getting all the wedding preparations in hand, whilst graduating, starting a new job, moving to Nottingham. I’m sure everything has been carefully plotted out on the wedding spreadsheet.
I’m sure one of Esther’s abiding memories of her mother will be Helen wandering round, at all the different events she organised, with a clipboard in her hand, keeping everyone in order.
So here is a clipboard for you to use, Esther, to keep Rob and your house, your jobs, your finances in order.
2. Esther is sociable and outgoing, a missionary
I think both Helen and I are to blame for this, particularly through taking her off to Cambodia when she was only 1 year old. When we returned to Bristol, one of Esther’s favourite occupations was to sit on the pavement outside our house: ‘Where are all the people?’
I think this passion for reaching out to other people, engaging with anyone, whatever their background, is something you both share. But, a word of warning – you never know quite where that might take you. So, just in case you end up going to Asia on some mad missionary adventure, here is a Kromar. It is an amazingly versatile piece of cotton: you can use it as a turban (though that may be tricky for Rob); a sarong; a loincloth; a sun-shield; face-mask; a baby-carrier; a nappy; a tablecloth, dishcloth…
3. Esther is easily pleased and places a high value on simple family life
When she was about 4 or 5 we went to a friend’s 18th birthday party and Esther confidently told us that she knew what she would like for her 18th birthday – a Barbie toothbrush. So that is what she got. I thought I would follow that up by getting two matching toothbrushes for you.
However, the high value she places on simplicity means 
that sometimes she can be oblivious to the finer things in life like vintage wines or whiskies. This was highlighted for me just recently when Esther was clearing out her room at home to move to Nottingham. She had put out a number of boxes of clothes and odd bits and pieces to give away to charity. In one of them were some jewellery boxes with cheap plastic necklaces and bracelets from Claires. I thought I would have a look through to see if there were any that might be suitable for Lois’ young grandchildren and came across the Sidebotham family Carnelian necklace among them!
4. Esther can be stubborn; she knows what she likes
When we moved from Bristol to Coventry, Esther wasn’t impressed. She reminded us of this regularly. ‘You’re making me do my piano practice and you made me move to Coventry’
So don’t be surprised if she comes out with things over which she is not prepared to give ground, or if she reminds you of the sacrifices she has made for you! When she does, you can remind her that the choices have been mutual with this I Love Nottingham mug.
5. Esther loves building bridges
This has a number of implications. You will see this in the way she reaches out to other people, and in the way she engages with some of the hard questions of justice, truth and confronting the world’s problems.
But first and foremost, she is an engineer at heart – inherits this from both her mother and grandfather. She loves the intellectual challenge and the practical application, and has clearly loved getting stuck into her new job rebuilding the A14.
She has her heart set on a career in Engineering, and you will both need to work out how you balance that with your married life, family, church involvement and Rob’s career.
It is worth taking an interest in her work, go out of your way to understand and support it. So I have got you a specially adapted hard hat, so you can visit her on site.
6. Esther is someone for whom following Jesus is absolutely central to all she does
I have loved seeing that develop in Esther as she has grown, and it is something I have seen in Rob too, so it is my prayer for both of you that this will continue to grow and develop in your life together.
So my final gift is not a new one, but a copy of my book in which I summed up my prayer for you, Esther, as you left home, and now I pray for both of you.
Esther, for 24 years I have watched you grow and develop into a beautiful young woman. Now, as you set off on a new stage in your journey, I pray that you and Rob together will discover more and more what it means, not to leave your childhood behind, but to hold on to that childhood, and through that to enter more fully into God’s wonderful kingdom, here and now.
Earlier, Valerie and I prayed a blessing over Esther and Rob:
Jesus, do for Esther and Rob as you did in Cana of Galilee. Take the old water, their ordinary individual lives, and turn them into gospel wine.
That is a dangerous prayer.
It will mean that you will go against the tide of popular ambition and culture, not seeking the wealth, comfort, position or pleasure that ultimately fails to fill that gap in who we were created to be. Rather, you will, together, discover more of your creativity, of the gifts you have been given. You will use your minds to learn, to explore, and to discover. You will find new ways to celebrate and enjoy the goodness of this world and of each other.
It will mean, too, that you will seek to love your neighbours as yourselves. You will strive for justice and extend compassion to those in need. You will reach out and be there for others.
In doing so, you will make yourselves vulnerable.
But you will also be strong, because you will be following this journey together, you will be supported by your family and all your friends, and you will be held in the arms of God who loves you both.
So I hope you will all join me in wishing all the goodness, challenge and celebration embedded in that simple blessing, for Esther and Rob.
