In the early hours of this morning my father, Stephen Sidebotham, died in his sleep, after a long struggle with Alzheimer’s disease. The past few years have been upsetting, as we have slowly watched him lose his memory, his deep, engaging personality and his joy in life. Dad found the past few months of Covid restrictions confusing and upsetting, and it was particularly hard over the past three weeks as he was in hospital and we were not allowed to be with him.
We are grateful, though, that on Thursday, he was moved to a local nursing home and we were able to sit with him through yesterday and into the night. Before leaving him last night, I read the day’s compline, with Psalm 139 – one of his favourite Psalms, and listened to Rutter’s The Lord bless you and keep you.
Although these last weeks, months and years have been incredibly difficult, I am so grateful for all that my father was – to me, to my Mum and my sisters and the rest of our family, and to so many people both in Hong Kong and here in England. I remember, with love, the wonderful conversations I had with my Dad over the years – for his encouragement, wisdom and deep love, for the clarity and deep humility with which he helped me explore my own faith and life journey; the joy and inspiration I felt as a young lad as we, together, worked in his carpentry workshop, building items of furniture, a trainset, a canoe and sailing boat, and all sorts of items for the house and garden; the family games and outings; the pride (and awe) I felt as a youngster seeing my Dad, in long, flowing robes, leading services, preaching and teaching at Christ Church and St John’s Cathedral in Hong Kong; and his absolute devotion to and dependence on my Mum – ‘she who must be obeyed!’ I remember him speaking with such gentleness, grief and love at Mei Ling’s and Helen’s funerals, and the pride and joy that just overflowed whenever he saw or spoke of any of his grandchildren.
We will miss him, as will so many people whose lives he has touched – sometimes in ways he didn’t even know. And we will always remember him with gratitude, joy and love.
Now, Lord, you let your servant go in peace.
